Saturday, August 11, 2012

What I feel about friendship

'A man is judged by the company he keeps.' This is a true saying. Apart from the place you grow up in and your family, friends have a profound effect on your psyche. For instance, if you socialize with the crowd you meet in church every Sunday, you'll probably think like them and abhor evil. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Choose them wisely.

I've always liked the Harry Potter series for showing what true friendship is about. We have a lot to learn from Harry and Ron. They were depicted as polar opposites, yet managed to become the best of friends. Harry could have chosen to be with Draco Malfoy, but decided to remain with Ron. The friendship between Harry and Ron wasn't bereft of problems either. They quarreled several times, but were ready to forgive each other. Anyway, I feel Hermione was there as a neutralizing factor. It's amazing to note that Harry and Ron remained best friends even after marriage (generally, friendships aren't strong after marriage.)

Let's come back to the Muggle world I grew up in. I was an introvert, with very few friends in school. I regret not having socialized much. In college, I regret having made many mistakes while choosing friends. It was stupid of me to choose friends who weren't right for me. I went out of the way to be friendly and caring towards people. But I realized that it was futile to expect them to reciprocate the same.

There is no such thing as true friendship in college. In a materialistic world of make-believe, people change with time and so do their friends. It really hurts when people ignore other friends when they get into relationships. Come on! Think of the plight of single people too! The campus is supposed to be cosmopolitan, but there's apparently no unity among students! Groups divided on a linguistic basis seem sickening. I agree that it's important to preserve and promote the cultures of different states, but not at the cost of becoming clannish.  This is a major impediment to friendship. During college farewell parties, students realize that they may never meet their friends in the future. It's really hard to say goodbye, isn't it?

If someone asks me the number of friends I have, 545 seems unrealistic, considering I merely know 20 really well. Even those 20 are not met on a regular basis (Thank you, FFCS-Fully Flexible Credit System!). Poking,tagging and liking does not give the same feeling as listening to a friend's dulcet tones in person (Or at least, over the phone).

Hanging out can foster better understanding among people. I've never had a friend or a group with whom I could plan a trip to Spain (Like the 3 guys in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara). Forget Spain, a visit to Apna Dhaba (an eatery near the VIT campus) seems to be a big ordeal!

Friends, get out of your comfort zones. Your cocoons become your limitations. Go out and make new friends!

J.K. Rowling
“Harry - you're a great wizard, you know."
"I'm not as good as you," said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him.
"Me!" said Hermione. "Books! And cleverness! There are more important things - friendship and bravery and - oh Harry - be careful!”
― J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”
― Charles Caleb Colton

Muhammad Ali
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.”
― Muhammad Ali

Abraham Lincoln
“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” 

Mahatma Gandhi
“It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Mark Twain
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
― Mark Twain

Bob Marley
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

William Shakespeare
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”
― William Shakespeare

Jess C. Scott
“Friends are the family you choose (~ Nin/Ithilnin, Elven rogue).”
― Jess C. ScottThe Other Side of Life

C.J. Langenhoven
“Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected. ”
― C.J. Langenhoven

Benjamin Franklin
“Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.”
― Benjamin Franklin


  1. Nicely written AK.. although I have my own reasons explaining the way we feel about friendship right now, I believe we'll all be better friends once we get out of college, and still manage to keep contact.. In the beginning years of college, everyone goes out of the way to make friends, only later when he knows that he/she's gathered a number of them who're gonna stick, he stops spreading his wings.. its like a evolution of the whole process of friendship!
    That last quote by Benjamin Franklin, is so true and well said! Anyway, about this post, I like it, because I find it very well-structured and honest.. For me, its perhaps even your best..! :)

  2. I love the way you put things up straight from your heart with no artificiality in it.. Good one..keep the ball rolling..
    But yeah u will realize the value of friendship only when u move out of the place, until then everything seems so fuzzy.

  3. Very well written Ajay. The words are really true and through your experience you have scripted well.
    Keep going! keep writing! Happy Friendship day Machi